Heavy Hearted

Milinda passed away Thursday, September 19, 2013.  Her death came quickly after her diagnosis.  It is so hard to understand "Why"!  I have lost 2 close friends in a little over 2 years.  My heart aches when I think about not having them here to call or see again on this side of Heaven.  I am so grateful God allowed me the chance to say bye to Milinda.  I didn't get that with Evelyn.

Concerned about Toni.  I wish the doctors knew exactly what is wrong with her and how to treat it.

My etsy shop is not going very well.  I haven't sold anything since reopening it.  Feeling discouraged and defeated.  I look at her shops that are selling hundreds of items a month and I can't help but wonder "What am I doing wrong?".  Wish I could have a shop in Amy's store.  But, don't see that happening.  Happy for her, though.  She seems to be doing well with it.

Where to Start?

So much has happened in the last couple of weeks.  My heart and head is sick.  Milinda has Stage 4 Cervical Cancer which is in the bones, too.  she will be taking chemo 5x a week for 5 weeks.  I am still trying to wrap my head around that.
Then I call Toni to let her know about Milinda and she tells me she is seriously ill and the doctors don't know what is wrong with her.  She had to give up her job as a surgical nurse because her hand tremors so badly.  It is affecting her speech and breathing.  She has to get Botox injections in her eyelids to keep them open and in her neck sometimes to be able to open her mouth or swallow.  The doctors are treating her as if she has Parkinson's or Lou Garrett, but really are just treating the symptoms.  She is trying to get on Social Security but keeps being denied.  It is so unfair!  She has worked hard ever since she was old enough and now, when she needs it they are denying her.
Sweet Brandon is in the hospital with dehydration.  Been in and out and back in.  His magnesium level is dropping and the doctors don't really know why.  Scares me to think of what it could mean.  Love that little man so much.  Love the whole family!

Jewelry and a whole lot more!

After a long break  and much prayer, I have decided to reopen my etsy shop.  I will be starting slowly, adding new items at my own pace.  I will be adding handmade chalkboards.  These chalkboards will be made from a variety of everyday items and of different sizes.
I will still offer jewelry and other crafty items.  Check my shop often to see what I have made and listed!
www.lilpenny.etsy.com   This is for sell in my shop!  $5.20!

This and that

It has been a while since I have posted anything.  It seems like the day gets away from me and it is late before I know it.  Is that a sign of old age?  :D
I have been busy learning a new craft or two.  I am making chalkboards out of various things, cutting boards, cookie sheets and cake pans so far.  The cutting board was the hardest because I stenciled it and the stencil would not work right for me.  Here it is!

Took me about 4 or 5 start overs!  I am also doing stenciling glass.  I hope to start selling all of it along with my jewelry.  I could really use the money!  So much I need and want to do to the house.  The "extra" cash would be a big help.

A mama bird made her nest on the shelves in the carport.  She put it behind the cat carrier.  I have been watching and hoping to see her babies.  I have watching her fly out and get a bug/worm and then fly back in and the babies start chirping.  Yesterday I was taking Daisy out and the babies were out learning how to fly. One got too low and Daisy grabbed and killed it.  I was so mad at her for doing that.  I brought her in the house and put her in her room.  I went back out and watched them.  They would get really close to me and just stare at me. :D  Got some pretty decent pictures of them.  Here they are:

Angry/Hurt

So, my beloved (not so much right now) cousin has my pastor and church family in on the pressure to move to town.  Everyone keeps talking about how much they love me and how smart I am and yada yada yada!
Then, they turn around and act like I am not smart enough to figure out where it is best for me to live.
I want to tell them that they don't really love me or think I am smart or they would want to see me happy.
Funny how one of the biggest arguments they use is that if I lived in town it would be easy for them to "check on you" or "help you if you needed anything".  Funny thing, the whole time (around 15 years) Mama and I lived in town, most of them never called, let alone came to see us.  Why would I think it would it be any different now?  Ok, lets say I moved into the apartments, they don't have washer/dryer hookups in the apartments.  I would have to go to the laundry mat they have there.  Just how am I suppose to manage that? Which one of them is going to help me with that?  Oh, that's right. . . none!  Need to go to town?  "Can't this week and next week is booked, too.  Maybe later in the month."  What about Daisy?  She would go nuts in an apartment and walking her would be a nightmare!  She is used to me sitting down and letting her run the length of her leash.  Couldn't do that in town.  I guess they would say to take her back to the shelter.  Not as long as I have my mind and am breathing!  I love her and she keeps me sane and puts a smile on my face, which is more than I can say about most people I know at this time!
I wish I could get back to making jewelry and enjoying it, but with no sales I feel like there is not real point.  I can't wear all of it myself.  I want to try my hand at some other crafts, but it takes money.

It's been a while since I have update every thing, mainly because there has been nothing much going on.  My injured wrist is still hurting.  I have it wrapped right now  trying to keep it from bending.
Caught a cold I guess at our New Year's Eve Singing at church.  Still coughing and head still congested.  I really need to get busy making jewelry and cards, but just have not felt inspired to do anything but laze around.
Don and Debbie ganged up on me a couple of weeks ago when Debbie took me to get my hair and nails done.  Don was waiting for me when we got back.  They keep trying to get me to move into the Senior Apts. in town.  I don't how many times or ways I have to say it before they will understand I DO NOT WANT TO LIVE IN TOWN!!!   ESPECIALLY IN THE APARTMENTS!!!  I know they mean well and think they know what is "best" for me.  Debbie says I would be safer.  Don says it would be easier to check on me.  I feel perfectly safe here and not afraid to sit outside.  I seldom had anyone check on Mama and I when we lived in town, except for Home Health.  And I don't want people coming and "checking" on me all the time.
I love living alone most of the time.  I sleep and eat when I want to and for the most part do whatever I want to when and if I get the urge.
I just wish people understood that.